感情

谈感情，每个人都有不同的感情发展。有些浪漫，有些平凡。如果你问我我是属于哪些我会说可能一半一半吧? 一开始步入这段感情就说了不要去cafe、高级餐厅用餐，不庆祝monthsary、情人节什么的，最多就庆祝周年庆而已(可是我的一周年庆却没庆到 呵呵)，因为大家都还是学生，不会赚钱，用的都是父母的钱，所以就该省着吧。曾经我把这些告诉朋友，有朋友对我说，"你太迁就他了" "你太为他着想了" "是不是也去几次没关系吧"。其实想说，我不介意有没有cafe级食物、高级餐厅食物，我只是想在我想去哪里、想吃什么的时候有个人会立马带我去或买给我，不是每次但是偶尔。其实从小到现在我不曾被人捧在手心里疼，不曾被宠过，我也想尝试着被人捧在手心里宠的感觉，偶尔宠宠我带我到我想去的地方，带我吃我想吃的东西。此外，我也好想有人在我被人欺负的时候为我出出气、出出头，而不是嘴里说着我陪你但实际上是我一个人在熬。看见有些情侣啊 一方说想吃什么的 另一方就立马去买到对方家给她吃，好像只会在电影、电视、小说出现吧? 绝对不是哦! 我在现实中可看过这发生哦，甚至还看过一方说想念对方，半小时后对方就出现在她家了呢 哈哈哈。感情事嘛，都是你看我好，我看你好的，所以有时候我也想要得到这种待遇，不多，几次就够了，至少我想感受一下 哈哈。有时候我在想是不是我一开始的体谅将就，造就了今天的这一些待遇。

我可以体谅，将就，但有时候我也想像一般女生得到的待遇，想要被另一半捧在手里宠，答应我的事能做到，凡事有另一半撑腰。

安全感对我非常重要。

Countdown official one month to #MleaveStoEurope. :(

Short Update - D E P R E S S E D

How strong can I stay till? I thought I'm strong enough, but...
I have no motivation to go university for class, I have NO MORE, NO MORE MOTIVATION.
I try hard to move on, I tried, I did tried, BUT I have no enough courage to move on. Everything seems to be worst when I keep moving on.
Half a year gone, and so far my first half of the year doesn't seems to be good.
I have to be strong, seriously I have to.

感触

大学来到了第三年，也就是最后一年，但却发生了很多不愉快的事。一直以来，大家是个怎样的人，大家心里心知肚明，但是就因为我把事情表明出来，原本不是我的问题也变得是我的问题就因为我把事情摊开，大家都认为是我把大家感情弄破。从一个人口中听到当事人所说的一切，把一切的事实给扭曲，其实也只是心虚吧。近期一切的一切其实都感受得到，多少人在这段日子对我的态度有所改变，多少人之前对我有说有笑如今变得无话可说，多少人就连打个招呼也不甘愿，多少人从对我很好变得对我厌恨，这一切变化就只因听取了一个人的话。其实大家对我的改变说不在意不难过是假的，但是也比不过另一半可能因为我而他的朋友也不怎么理他那么在意吧，其实很自责。想说，既然大家选择相信那一个人的话，我想你们离开也就离开吧。我没有做过任何错的事，我不会心虚去到处唱他人，只为了要大家做自己的backup。我不需要以这种恶人先告状的方式来争取一堆人做自己的backup，清者自清，我有我自己的backup，虽然没有你的多但几个真心的就足够 至少这几个不是我心虚去找来的 是他们真心想做我的backup。此事，我问心无愧。有人对我说，这些事情以后在职场上都会遇到，只是我早点遇见了，以后才会有心里准备与应对方式。想一想，其实也没错，来的来，去的去，人聚人散这是人生的必经之路啊，没什么好可惜的。
留下的我珍惜，离开的我不留。

这几个月来拥有的感受也真的太多了，再多一个月半要大考了，但是我到现在一点上进心都没有。其实自己发现到了很久，也被说过，但是除了自己也不会有人更明白原因吧。离考试越近代表他离开我的时间越近，其实我如此也真的是不敢面对现实一直在逃避而已，我承认。我一直在想那一个月要如何度过，要做什么，要如何面对。可能有人会说"哎呀，才一个月"，但是我想说，针不是插在你身上你不知痛。然而，也有人会说"又不是只有你会这样，他也是会的吗"。是，他会，但是他没有我如此痛苦，毕竟他去玩，带着的心情是兴奋是期待，这些心情也都会盖过他的伤心不舍。其实我有一度拥有着自私的想法，想他申请不到，想他就算被批了也放弃这机会，我也知道他不可能会如此放弃，事实是如此，真的很难过但我知道我不能如此自己所以也被逼接受。这段时期就算到了今天，我想起两个月之后的情况都会放空，红了眼眶甚至哭了，我真的不知道那一天的到来我会如何。

重感情就是如此地痛。

Mobile gadgets

I wonder how people nowadays think that mobile gadgets is important even than the people around. If you go to a restaurant, you can see all people are playing on their own mobile gadgets even dining with their family,partner or whoever. I did saw before that is one table of family having dinner, all of them were playing on their own mobile gadgets and there is only one person sitting there and look around and nobody to talk to, that's the granny in the family. It's sad to see this. Hey, family gathering is the time to catch up with your families right, it's not time to play on your own gadgets.There's so many times I saw couples are playing on their own gadgets instead of talking to each other on a date, what for to come out for dating if both put more concern on their own gadgets? This happened to me tho. I understand if you have work on hand or whatever you need to settle,but, hey can't you just settle it after? Is it so important you need to settle it now? Try to put down your gadgets if that is not necessary because there are people that is more important than your gadgets. Just get your head up and talk to others. :)

陪伴

“不了，我女人还在家等着我呢。” 这句话也许只会在小说里出现吧? 在现实中有多少人在外玩乐会记得家里等他的人? 有多少人会记得在等他回来陪伴的人? 好像都没有吧，好好男人在现实社中都很少吧?家里面的人痴痴地等，但外面的人却欢乐无比，有时候也只好放弃等待了。其实很多事情很矛盾的，很多事情总觉得说或不说都不是。说出来了，人家会为了你而改变的，外出的时间越来越少，然而也会被觉得不给他自由了。确确实实没有不给自由了，只是他的举动都会是因为另一半的小家子气而这样做的，所以就会被认为是另一半不再给自由了。况且，事情说出来了他才这样做，早回家陪陪等他的人也不是他原有的心态，而是说出来后 他才启发而注意的事情不是吗? 这样感觉就是为做而做 意义都去哪了? 说出口的纠结还不只这些呢，大家都是人吗，人一定会为自己犯下的错找借口，口里都会说着“我现在不是陪你了吗”，“不要难过生气好吗，我明天都有在陪你了” 啊就是这一些话，拜托你以为这一些就是陪伴吗? 那整天都不必陪啊，晚上打通电话来 也说是陪伴好了。所以说其实不说岂不是更好吗? 哦，不。 不说的话，自己纠结，自己难过，自己生气，自己也很不想理他，很想发他脾气但却也要保留，所有东西都是自己憋在心里来着，这也是一种苦。所以到底说好还是不说好呢?很纠结很矛盾对吧? 其实有时候东西很简单，不要让等你的人觉得娱乐还是无谓的小事比他(她)还重要，那他(她)在你眼里又是什么了? 电玩都不如吗?



 其实，有个实实在在的陪伴就够了。

2015

不知不觉地就2015了， 忙着忙着地就2015年的第二个月了，时间都在你不经意之下溜走了。在我们不经意让它溜走的这一分一秒里有人经历快乐，有人伤心，有人懊恼，每个人都以不同地心情让这一分一秒溜走。过去的一个半月里 快乐、伤心、懊恼都在我身边环绕着。很多时候 烦恼不知觉的缠身 当下你烦得要崩溃 但之后发现那也只不过是个芝麻绿豆的小事而已。生活嘛都是这样 快乐一段时间 低潮一段时间 但是再怎么低潮的日子 还是得用微笑去面对所有的一切。我2015的开始是不美好的 极度不美好，但是由不得我去控制 所以我只能接受 笑着去接受 笑着笑着就这样过去。我只想让身边的人都开心 无论我是多么地不开心。有时候 心态很重要 在你经历低潮的时候 请以正面的心态去面对 自然而然事情也会随着你的正面思想而转变。或许你也可以选择以曾经经历的更不美好 来盖过当下的不美好 这样心里是否会好过些呢? 生活很多时候身不由己，但是在你可以控制之下请竭尽所能地把要做的东西做到最好。看似简单，说似简单，但做起来是有多难。有人说 爱就要说出口，这看似简单嘛 但是有多少人对心爱的人勇敢地表达出了那份爱? 也许不是不勇敢 而是不知如何开口。感情事顺其自然，缘分未到 如何强求也没用。好吧  其实我语无伦次 其实我也不知道自己在写什么 就突然好想到这里挥一挥 画一画。

"Many people can walk in and out of your life, 

but only true friend will leave footprints in your heart."

Thank you for always being by my side no matter what happened. We didn't have years of friendship like others, we only know each other for ten months but our willing heart stick us together. I hate to be with you because you know me too well, whenever I'm with you, I can't pretend that I'm strong when I'm down because you can read my heart. And this turn your mood down :( I feel bad :'( Anyway, I am really blessed to have you in my uni life and I'm really really thankful to what you have done for me these days. Please do remember, no matter where we go, no matter what happened I will always be with you. I might not by your side but my heart is always with you, my one and only secret angel! :)

Taiwan Trip.

First of all, Happy New Year 2015 :) It has been a long time since my last update. Here's the update of my trip to Taiwan at the end of 2014 :)

Finished my last paper of my year 1 and rush back to prepare for going to airport. The mood of that moment - Excited yet sad. Sad because I think I failed the last paper. Haih. Okay back to topic. 

-DAY 1-

Our flight was at 1.30am and landed Taiwan around 6am plus. Checked the weather and temperature over there when we're in Malaysia and found out that the temperature is just like Genting or in air-conditional room, but when we reached there we found out that it is colder colder COLDER. The temperature when we landed was 10℃. Our tourist guide and driver (the same person) was super-duper friendly :D He first bring us for breakfast at MCD as my sister and brother wanted to try the MCD over there. After breakfast went Tamsui District(淡水老街) but still early all the shops haven't open yet. Therefore we just went for a "morning walk". Haha. Then we went to Tamshui Fisherman's Wharf (淡水渔人码头). Nice view over there but super colddddddd. We went quite a lot of places the first day, other than what I mentioned, we still went SHIMEN wedding plaza ( 石门婚纱广场), 石门风力发电厂, Yehliu Geopark(野柳地质公园), Jiufen (九份老街), Shilin Night Market (士林夜市) and also Ximending (西门町). Overall, I love Jiufen and Ximending the most :D Get to meet Cally and Xinyun up also at this day. Thank you for coming to meet me up. :)

View from plane in the midnight :)

 -淡水老街-

 All above are 渔人码头 :)

 石门婚纱广场

 石门风力发电

-野柳地质公园-

 This 芋圆 is super yummyyyyy *slurpppp* :)

 View from 九份

 麻辣豆腐 :)

 With the loves ❤

This swiss roll is pricey but super yummy :D

My favourite ❤  - 臭豆腐-

-DAY 2-

Ximending (西门町) → Hualien (花莲) → Taroko Hsiang-Te Temple (太鲁阁祥德寺)

Most of the time was in the car this day as we need hours to reach Hualien from Ximending. Super happy that I finally have a chance to go Taroko Hsiang-Te Temple :D The view and weather over there was super nice! After visiting Hsiang- Te Temple, we went back to the town of Hualien as our hotel located at the town of Hualien. Fyi, we change hotel every night. After dinner with the tourist guide, the rest of the time is our free time. Went Far East Mall to shop for a while and get back to hotel to rest. The day turn dark at six in Taiwan and it's like eight at night in Malaysia. We always think that it's already late night and wanted to get back to hotel to bath and rest but it's just eight o'clock. Lol. 

 This is niceeee!!! We ate three :p 

 Views from Hsiang-Te Temple :)

Christmas decoration of Far East Mall :D

-DAY 3-

Hualien → Hualien Tzu Chi (花莲慈济) → 花莲光隆博物馆 → 水往上流奇观 → Master Bear Resort (小熊度假村)

After we went tzu chi and that museum, then most of the time also be in the car as we need to travel from Hualien to Taitung because the Master Bear Resort located at Taitung. After you get in to the resort you won't go out anymore as to go to the town need some time. However, they have set activities for all the guests so don't worry that you will get bored. It's kinda fun :D It's suitable for people that wanted to go for relax :) If you are interested, you may check it out in their webpage: http://www.masterbear.com.tw/

-DAY 4-

Taitung (台东) → Kaohsiung Fo Guang Shan Buddha Memorial Center (高雄佛光山佛陀纪念馆) → The Pier-2 Art Center (駁二藝術特區) → Love River (爱河)  → Liuhe Night Market (六合夜市)

Fo Guang Shan Buddha Memorial Center is hugeeeee but it's very nice :) We should be going down to the place called love river but we didn't as we reach there too early and will not be able to see the lights, the other reason is that the place is more suitable for couples so my parents said no need to go Hahah. Then we skip Love River and went back to hotel for a rest then get out to night market as the night market just opposite our hotel. 

  

-佛光山佛陀纪念馆 -

-駁二藝術特區-

-DAY 5- 

Kaoshiung (高雄) → Lukang(鹿港小镇) → 手信坊 →  Taipei 101 (台北101) → 诚品书局

It's the last day. Most of the time of this day spent on those souvenirs shops but I didn't manage to buy anything special. In the late afternoon the tourist guide drop us at Taipei 101 and let us have our own free time at there and also at 诚品书局. Instead of Taipei 101, we should be at Ximending. As we never been Taipei 101 before so my parents decided to go there but ended up regretting for not going Ximending as some things that we wanted to buy didn't managed to buy in the earlier day when we were at Ximending. However, at least we have a chance to take a look how Taipei 101 look like hahah. And instead of 诚品书局, we should be at Nanya night market, but my dad said that we went two night markets already and the things are almost same so he decided to cancel the schedule to night market. Anyway, 诚品书局 is a nice place but we have only one or two hours there, so that I didn't manage to find things I want even the pen my friend asked me to look for. Next time I should spend my whole day there if there is still chance for me to go :D

 -鹿港小镇之摸乳巷-

 -手信坊-

Photo of Taipei 101 I took in the car. There are raindrops on the windows not edited :)

Hotel that we stayed last night :D

-DAY 6-

Taiwan Taoyuan International Airport (台湾桃园国际机场)

The end of the trip. The only day that we can sleep until 8am hahaha. The tourist guide picked us up at 10am and go to the airport straightly although our flight is at 3pm. The tourist pick us up that early because he has another group of traveler reached at 11 something, so we have no choice just walk around at the airport hahah. Overall, I'm quite satisfied with this trip, the tourist guide is friendly and good enough, all the five hotels we stayed were pretty good especially the last night, it was pretty cool! Also I managed to go the places I wanted to go except Taichung Fengjia Night Market (台中逢甲夜市) L If there’s still chance for me to visit Taiwan, I wanted to go this night market and also Feng Chia University (逢甲大学) as this is my ideal university in Taiwan but I didn’t manage to study there.

 Saw these and I got in super happy mood :p

 Yummy 关东煮 from 7-11 :D

View from the plane :) Like cotton :D

It was a nice trip and the best semester break ever as I have a chance to spend so many days with my family happily and release stresses after my finals. I wish I can turn back time. I want to get back to that beautiful city. I got my birthday present three months earlier from my sister hehehe. Happy kid is happy (Hello you are not kid anymore, you are now 20 OMGGGGG)

Early birthday gift from sister :D ❤